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Lockdown is being alone, isolated and living outdoors in the cold

I do not want to tell the full story of how I came to be homeless in September last year. Or my previous history. A late in life diagnosed inattentive ADHD. Combined score at the lower level in neuropsychological tests of Asperger syndrome. Anyhow, as my parents moved to a nursing home on the same date, I was without any place of my own, as I rented a flat from my parents in a rather posh and large house with seven apartments. My problems last three years to find the right medication and dose-finding stopped in February due to the Corona outbreak.  

I spoke with my parents about the coming situation

I told my parents it would become utterly tricky for those at the bottom of the pyramid. And secondly, a total economic collapse will follow, then rebounded with fewer costs of the elderly, most impoverished, those with disabilities, mental problems combined with alcohol, drug-related social problems. Mentioning the ongoing trade conflict of The US simultaneously and China scaled. These issues cannot be separated if looking at events that happened since 1972 and 1975 travels to China latest by President Ford in 1975. It is a class war not vastly different from the second world war. The minorities blamed for the poor conditions in Germany after the first world war. The exact tactics used by the elite to spilt people. Racism is such an issue. People at the bottom of the ladder be in the same boat. Rethink the enemy? Unite not fight and the principle of solidarity and overthrow the elite. When Lech Walesa became president in Poland, Solidarity got 13 million members, one-third of the population.

In the highrisk group of those less fortunate 

At the age of 55, with the lowest pension plan. Unlucky, a traffic accident in 2009, running a company producing boats in China when the US financial crisis of 2008 led to difficulties selling expensive capital goods. The later in life diagnosed inattentive ADHD leaves me in the high-risk zone of death. Guardian wrote, “It’s either the economy or health”; “This virus is practically harmless to those under 55” – have found a willing audience in a frustrated and exhausted society. Many of these arguments grouped under terms such as “herd immunity”, “focused protection”, or “shielding the vulnerable”. Suppose the virus is seemingly only a risk to the elderly or those with preexisting conditions. They argue, why not shield the vulnerable and let everyone else get on with everyday life?  Not by variously mutated Corona. The coronaviruses have the largest RNA genome known. Therefore the ability to mutate by coding several hundred proteins makes an effective vaccine impossible—the virus not regarded as a dangerous virus and according to literature published before the outbreak.

Risk of dying by accidental causes

I am at risk of dying by accidental causes created by syndemic interactions. Firstly, I look different, not good at socialising in regular terms, seems too talkative or nervously. I self-medicate to keep the high level of anxiety at the inattentive ADHD at a tolerated level. To regularly coping like going to the doctor or filling out paper very troublesome at times refusing it. People who stigma rejects me an everyday social life. It takes away my ability to have work, married, kids and leaves me isolated. Most people walk on the other side of the streets. The impact of my socio-physical environment. I use for medical reasons drugs, and therefore need to sell drugs to survive, honestly said. Most of my customers are regular people who used recreational drugs when socialising. They are now vanishing, not depended on drug habits, and not need of since not allowed socialising. The Market is gone—many who permitted from work, some job loss, and the fear the economic collapse. I am an offer of being stigmatised, and I feel not as a verdict member of the community. I am a second-hand citizen, of which the taxpayers seem to be the victims. It is not the case, and the issue is that most parts of the shared values privatised. I do not feel welcome by any other people than my mum and dad, who are now elderly and need help themselves as dad got severe and worsen Alzheimer’s. 

How to survive a system and living outdoor

The social security system has deliberately worked against me since I called for its emergence at the beginning of October. Isolated in a pension home for five months, and I left. After been rejected a new home. I was sick for two days and unable to sign the contracts. Social security gave my apartment to someone else. Surrey because I was trying to get my rights and started publishing the breaking of laws in the system. During the months last month, I have been days without food. Left alone for months and close to committing suicide. Been out in the cold, walking for hours each day, avoiding sickness; I wish I could function without my drugs, however not possible as my mind cannot cope with the simplest tasks. I fear the most is to be in such a state as so many times before, and I cannot handle another. After I left the pension house on Friday the 19 of February, living outdoor a few days indoor at my mums nursing home. The days the cold temperature around 7C and on the nights below zero degrees.

Trying to survive outdoor without proper equipment is difficult, mostly I been sitting on the various bus routes such as Bus 20 between Galgeberg and Skøyen. Bus 37, the only route that travels all night commonly been a favourite. Once I was so tired at 0300, I left the bus and sat on the bench in Nydalen, no traffic, police, ambulances or taxis seen. I packed myself into a well-used sleeping bag, afraid of course to fall asleep As I know the danger. Thirty minutes the bus driver on the bus on his route wake me up and said it is too cold sleeping. I took the subway only to experience that somebody had stolen my sleeping bag waking up. Saturday one week ago I took the train ended up in the city of Kongsvinger. I was sure to schedule a train back around at three in the morning was cancelled. I took out my sleeping bag and fell asleep. I woke up freezing, stopped a lonely taxi on its way, and he drove me to a night open gas station where they let me stay indoor until the first train back to Oslo at six in the morning.  

Where is the police when you need them

What stroke me the most was the lack of needed police, hardly any to be seen or stopped disappeared at the most critical times where no buses routes except 37 line. If you needed help and did not have any money, nobody is there to help. Another night fell asleep in the park at St Haugen. At the top, I took down the park and into an open Deli Deluca and asked for staying some time. Three nights ago, I found a man almost dead around four in the morning close to Tøyen centre, and he was drunk with a bloodied face. He would never make it if I did not find him and called the ambulance. Without food and water, I did not believe it possible for walking to the Central station. I asked some others that just arrived with similar problems if they had any water or sugar, and with kindness, gave me a bottle of water, chocolate and bakeries. I was so tired; finally, I got paid to stay in a pension room for two days. I leave tomorrow. Or crawl back, ask social security (NAV) to help. Last time almost killed me.

Do I have a choice in reality?

Made a simple arrangement in the woods to remember four of my friends who lost their lives due to the Corona lockdown. Images Kenneth Læ

Posts in the series Coronavirus, lockdown and mental healthcare


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